Monday, January 12, 2009

I Hate Showers

I really fucking hate them.
I mean, I like being clean and hygienic and not smelling like shit and all, but the actual act of taking a shower?

Well, take today for an example. The bar of soap doesn't fit on the shelf, so it keeps sliding off. Almost hitting my toes multiple times. Then I start washing. Then I get to my feet. There's just no sensible way to wash one's feat.

Then I go to shampoo. And the water starts getting cold. And I have to go pee.
And I'm really sensitive in my eyes, so I can't open them even after I rinse.
And I can't find the tap for the shower to shut it off.
And it's getting colder, and colder. And I can't see.

I finally find it. Then I nearly fall over trying to reach my towel to wipe my eyes so I can take a piss.

I finally do, and realize that I forgot to wash my right arm.

So now I have to go back in.
Damn it!

You see now why I hate them?

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Yo! Be honest, folks.